Been trying to garner donations for prizes at our annual dinner & dance for my school.
It has been really really difficult and everytime i call a particular company, i can tell that most would not be very forthcoming with sponsoring gifts for the teachers in this economic climate. Several i have spoken with have rejected me outright and most cited this as the reason why that could not entertain such request for now. I guess i can understand though it is quite sad for us because as a charity organization, we are quite at the bottom of the economic foodchain already. I am really scratching my head trying to come up with enough gifts for the event because the teachers have been quite stressed out lately and the D&D is a good time to finally unwind after a tough year.

In any case, if anyone wants to donate a gift or cheque or vouchers or anything like that... please let me know.
I am definitely still trying... hopefully some companies would be willing to sponsor some nice gifts despite SARS and bad economy.

Finally settled the insurance, road tax and all that...
Just need to wait for the letter of conviction to come out for the other guy and everything will go back to normal...

Hmm... A sudden burst of activity.
Well...

Hello Adrian.

I screwed up my results delibrately.. and ended up with this..


You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Silly rhymes..

Prancing, dancing, flying through the air.
Arm hurts.
Cursing, swearing, hurting but i just don't care.

Watched the matrix on wednesday...

I enjoyed the philosophy... the room for discussion on the premises and ideology
but i find the action contrived and similar.
A showcase of big budget "never-seen-before" special effects.
I am not easily impressed by special effects i think.

Now lets see how it ends in november.

I walk through old dreams
sieving through grains of thoughts
to find
old memories peering at me
through a canopy of
hazy expectations.

I know it sounds terribly chichi and taitai but heck...
I like fullerton slightly more than the plaza.

so what?

Nice weekend spent at Fullerton Hotel...
Enjoyed the hi-tea and breakfast and of course... the pool and sunset.

Thank you.

This may be silly but...

Your love personality type is ESFJ

About 11% of the U.S. population possesses the combination of traits that make up this personality type.

Being an ESFJ means that loyalty is usually what counts for you. As a result, one of the first things others are likely to notice about you is how invested you are in your relationships. You're rarely a fair-weather friend. In fact, you probably manage to keep many of your important connections with others for life. This isn't very surprising when you consider that you're the kind of person who draws much of your energy from those around you. Your warm and friendly nature is another factor that keeps others with you for the long haul. Regardless of the aspect of your life, you probably find that people naturally gravitate to you.

In relationships, you're the kind who gives your heart but keeps your wits about you. As a result, you have the stuff needed to be a strong partner. Know that you're more committed than most people are to making others happy. You'd likely give away the shirt off your back if it would help someone you care about.

Given your test results, Emode's personality experts have determined your four most compatible matches when connecting with others. One of those four compatible types is an INFP.

Lastly (i will stopped after this for the night)...

I received my offer of candidature for PHD from Murdoch a couple of days ago.
Just when i was all stressed out with the accident, the car, the insurance, my arm, my work, my case conference reports... last thing i needed was to think about how am i going to manage working and conducting an all out research for PHD.
Gave me nightmares.

Now that things are more or less more settled, i had some time to think it through and i wonder how much do i really want to do PHD.
Sure, getting a doctorate is nice. Being called Dr Lee certainly has its merits... What more contributing to an area which i really enjoy working in...
But do i have the determination to carry it through?
And it is not going to be something that will finish in 1 year or even 2...
It is going to take 3-4 years at least.
Plus working on top of that... it meant sacrificing at least 2-3nights a week and couple of weekends a month...
And that is being conservative in my estimation.
No more social life... being discipline... keeping up steady revision and working on the research continual.. for 3-4 years.

I am overwhelmed just thinking about it.
I DO want to get my doctorate.
This is a good chance... whatmore i do not have to worry about money because i have received a grant from the uni exempting me from fees and stuff.
All i need to do is to put in the effort.
Rather, find the time to do it.
One alternative is to work part-time at my job.
It is a possible course of action since the pay-cut would not really affect me much now because i am young and single AND staying with supportive parents.
I realized i am in a good position to take up the offer more than most who need the full time job or those with family.
Yet, i hesitate... and is quite apprehensive.
More of my abilities to carry it off altogether and staying focus...

Boy... decisions decisions decisions...
How do i know if i am capable enough?

This is nothing, but i just want to make a note since i don't do this often at all.
Actually, i don't recall when have i ever done this in the last 6 years.

I watched a silly chinese romantic comedy, "Honesty" in the theater.

Gee.
Mindblowing.

Watched Bowling for Colombine one of the days...
Quite enjoyable, though my companions would probably have enjoyed it more if it has not been a midnight show.
As usual Michael Moore was at his satirical politician-bashing best...
I am not saying that he has been altogether objective but it was enjoyable to hear someone rage against the "almighty" US of A once in a while..
Some premises are interesting, though the pro-canadian stance did grate a trifle..
So... no one lock their doors in Canada huh?

Oddly, one of the person who made the most sense was... surprisingly, Marilyn Manson.
How cool was that?

Watched xmen on the day of the accident and enjoyed it very much...
Don't think i will ever forget the movie though it is only because it will be forever linked to the accident in my mind.

Been resting arm..
my physiotherapist colleague has been helping me exercise my arm and it has been better..

well.. insurance things are sort of sorted.. Hmm..
end result is fixing car and waiting for the other guy to be convicted..
abit sorry for him actually..
oh well.. just wish whole thing never happened..
or wish if only i have noticed the other car earlier..

just want things to be over and getting on with my life..

Not my most favourite xmen character... but oh well...


You are Storm!

You are very strong and very protective of those
you love. You are in tune with nature and are
very concerned with justice and humanity.
Unfortunately, certain apprehensions and fears
are very hard for you to overcome, and can
often inhibit you when most need to be strong.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

A belated thank you to one...
for taking care of me that night...
for calling me darling so naturally the whole night...
for caring...

Though i wish you would do that all the time instead of waiting for a catastrophe to happen before you ...
But heck, at least it was something...

I think i am going to have meself a butter cookie.

Thanks babes for all yer help and suitcase...

Not in the mood to unpack the stuff yet...
Freaking feel like some funeral and saying goodbye to car when went down to remove all my barang-barang.
Realized that my car has become a convenient storeroom for my junk...
Most probably insurance will write-off the car and now feeling dem depressed.
After all the years of driving it, there are some attachment form to good ole 1574...

Damn.

How troublesome that everytime i wanted to type something longer, blogger hangs on me...

I
Saturday night, while driving back from the movie Xmen2, got involved in a accident where i sprained my elbow and trashed the car. I was driving straight at a junction while the light was green when another car made a right turn from the opposing lane directly into my path. After the impact all i could asked was "Wasn't the light green?" over and over again. I guess in my shock, i couldn't really register what was happening... But i could have sworn that the light was green. My right arm was hurting so badly and partly due to the shock, i couldn't stop crying and was still doing so when the ambulance drove me to the A&E at SGH. Xray showed no fracture though i am expected back for another xray a week later to check if there are any hairline fracture. Was also given 5 days MC. Initially i couldn't move my arm at all, and my fingers felt numb but it has grown better over the last two days. Though it still hurt whenever i move my elbow and it has been a great hassle doing even the littlest things like attempting to dress myself or tie my hair, at least i can type slowly without much pain if i place my elbow on the table and barely moving it.

II
Called my parents in china from the ambulance and within the hour, even my brother called from canberra to see how i was. Everyone assured me that the car is the last thing i should worried about yet i couldn't stop saying sorry to my dad after seeing the wreck. Found out later that the other driver failed the breath analyzer test and was arrested. After settling down and getting over the initial shock, now i have to look into clearing up the mess. Went down to TP today to have my statement taken and found that since there was not witness to say that the other driver has beaten the red light, the case may not hold in a civil court. The investigation may take a few months. In the meantime, i was served a notice stating that i may be charge in the future for dangerous driving despite not having done so because it was part of the TP's standard procedure in such cases till investigations are over, while the other driver is out on bail and will subsequently be charged for drunk driving.

III
After visiting the TP, i had to go to the police post to make another accident report for the insurance company and look into getting my car out from the traffic police pound. After a few misses and going to the wrong workshop (C&C mercedes service centre at Ubi doesn't deal with accident cases), i had to arrange for the car to be towed to Pandan loop instead. Back home making phone calls and found out that i could not fax the letter of undertaking to the vehicle recovery centre, but had to go down personally to the pound at Airport road in a hurry to beat the 5pm closing time. Once there, all i had to do was give the memo from the TP to the reception and i was done. The tow driver was so kind as to give me a lift to the main road.

It was my first time in a tow truck.

So many things to do... Have to go down to pandan loop to get the insurance claim going and clear out my car. Insurance person say that i may not be able to claim against the other driver if he is being charge for drunk driving. What a bloody mess.

It been a hectic day and a rough weekend.

Last four film fest movies: Russian Ark, Eat Sleep No women, Blind Spot and 11.09.01 September 11.

All documentaries.. or sort of.
I wish i can type everything that we had discussed here but my right hand hurt and there are things i just cannot repeat.

Russian Ark -
Beautifully shot. Enjoyed the whole idea of using just one take. Would love to visit the Hemitage one day. What massive planning.
Only thing is that while there were parts i understood, the rest were quite detached from me as i know little of the russian history.
There must be so many layered meanings which i wish i knew about, or the connotations, the symbolism. But i don't... hence a certain sense of alienation.
I remembered you say, the marquise could represent the voice of the The Hemitage. While the unknown narrator could be the future of the Hemitage. In a way it made sense and i liked the idea of history given a physical form and a voice. So many reasons we talked through. It made the film worth watching... these discussions.

Blind Spot -
In comparision, did not have beautiful images that would keep one entralled... instead it was purely a study of human emotions and everything it was, was the story she had to tell. The thing that struck me was the part where she was viewing her own interview and trying to explain again why she said certain things. It must not have been easy.. It must be tedious, having this guilt and having to consciously explain and justify yourself to others.

Eat, Sleep, No Women -
A movie we did not pay for. Snuck into the theatre 15minutes after it started because there were not urshers at the door. It was not planned and i am not saying that i am proud of sneaking in. Felt exhilarating nonetheless. Enjoyable movies. My favourite line: "If my mother saw the tv looking like that (green blobs), she would have called the repair man". It was interesting, tying up different people's experiences in different places on the day of 7th oct. And i enjoyed the director's sense of humor.

September 11 -
Collection of 11 movies from directors all over. Particularly enjoyed the one from africa where a group of boys tried to capture osama bin laden. It dealt with the topic matter in a light hearted manner without dismissing the seriousness of the issue. A little surprise that a majority of the film portrayed the incident no wholly in a pro-US manner. That is quite refreshing. Sept 11 was a tragedy yes, but there were other tragedies before and thereafter, and some perpetuated by the americans. Whether in terms of numbers of casualties or the magnitude of the destruction. What do child refugees in Iran or Africa know and care of what is happening so far away? Especially when they themselves faces tribulations everyday of their lives. I thought what stood out the most was the film from Mexico, where it would have been more successful in my view if they have left out the "moralizing" after the ending where they had a bright light and arabic line: does god's light guide us or blind us. The split second images of people falling from the world trade centre and the continuous voices over darken screen, made me focus not so much the motives of the perpetuators or the repercussions being justified by this act, but the act in itself. The tragedy. The loss. It is really difficult to watch or listen. That's why i thought it was so successful, the visual being so imbedded in our minds that even looking at the darken screen did nothing to minimise the horrors of what we could have seen. By putting the focus on the act, it derailed us from putting forth judgement for the moment but just purely concentrate for a few minutes on the pain and the fear.

Realization no 51:

Never, NEVER talk behind other people's back even though you have already check to see if the coast is clear.